A few months ago, I made an emergency appointment for a feminine issue I'm not going to go deeply into. However, the OB-GYN I made the appointment with was a doctor I have not seen since 2001. He was surprised to see me, and a little shocked that I had waited so long to see him, but instead of berating me, he pulled out the step on the exam table while I sat on a chair. His NP sat to the side. Both of them asked questions and delved deep into possible causes for what I was suffering. The whole time, I wondered, "Why is he sitting on the step? He's sitting lower than my eyeline." Finally, I asked him, "Why did you not take the stool or the chair?" He said, "So I am not looking down on you."
That moment touched me. This doctor, who I knew to be very busy, had taken the time to sit down and really talk to me. It affected me deeply.
Last night, I had an elderly patient come in for a myriad of health issues. She was shrill and demanding, and her son was all but bowing to her every word. He hovered and fussed to the point that he was actually getting in the way of the admission. Her hand was bleeding heavily due to her IV coming loose and the blood thinners she had been taking. The patient care tech and I cleaned her up, got her settled, and got into the business of trying to do the admission on the EHR, carry out orders, and placate her. The woman was super impatient, barking orders and getting angrier if they were not complied with immediately. It came at a busy time, as my pod was split and I'd been told one patient was asking for pain medication and another had pulled his IV out in his sleep. I was also trying to sort orders from an admission two hours before, along with checking in with new orders from an admission that had come in just prior to my shift, and for the doctor that was doing late night rounds.
During the lengthier portion of the admission, I stopped and thought for a moment. Gently speaking to my patient, I told her I was going to raise her bed. I raised it until she was at eye level. Not hard when your nurse is only 5' 2". She asked me why. I said, "So you can look me eye to eye, and I am not looking down on you." I turned my computer in such a way that it was not between us and started talking with her. By this time her son had left to go home and she was alone with us. She started to relax and even smile. She reached out a few times and patted my hand, and I held her cool, bruised hand in mine gently.
Throughout the night, she pressed the call light multiple times. She wanted water. She wanted her light on. She wanted her light off. She wanted a new channel to watch on the television. She wanted to order her breakfast. Several times an hour, the call light would shrill, and more often than not, it was her.
Putting myself in her shoes, I thought about how lonely she must be, and how powerless and frail she must feel. Once, she was as young as me, and probably felt just as full as life before her health took a downward turn. It stood to reason that she was taking power from the only things she could control. It made me much more patient with her. She invited me to call her by her first name. I called her Ms. and she shook her head and again instructed me to call her by her first name. Going against every fiber of my Southern upbringing, I called her by her name and she smiled widely.
I made sure to check in on her before I left this morning, even after I had given report. She had been my most difficult patient. Not my sickest by far, but certainly my neediest. The last time I walked in, she took my hand and patted it. She said, "You are the best nurse, and I am so glad I had you. I wish I could make recommendations. Thank you for caring."
That simple moment made my entire night, and reminded me why I decided to be a nurse.
I imagine that she is still in that bed tonight giving another nurse and tech a hard time, and it actually makes me smile. I know what made her happy last night, and I'm hoping my night shift colleague figures it out. After all, who knows how many times she can push that call bell tonight?
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